Are you struggling to understand what is happening in your relationships? Are you frustrated with family, friends or colleagues? Are you finding it difficult to be heard? Are you avoiding important discussions because you don’t know how to deal with potential conflict? Do you feel under- appreciated or taken for granted and need help to find your voice so that you can express your needs?
Are you single and would like to know how to develop an intimate relationship? Do you feel lonely or isolated and would like to make friends but don’t know where to start? Do you worry that you are not interesting or good enough? Are you shy and find it difficult to meet people?
We all differ in how we need or want to relate to others. As humans we are hard-wired to connect with others. We have a deep need to belong to a couple, a family, a friendship group, a team at work or sport, a larger community with common interests and yet we often find that we do not have the skills to manage these relationships.
Attempts to voice or have our needs met can be a real struggle. Managing feelings of frustration as a result of different values or opinions can lead to conflict despite our best intentions. We feel hurt and misunderstood which can leave us feeling rejected or lonely. We blame each other for not listening, not caring, not being considerate and we sometimes find ourselves filled with overwhelming anger/ sadness that we don’t know how to diffuse.
It seems easier not to bother connecting, to focus instead on becoming so independent that we don’t need anyone else to live a fulfilling life. Yet for many, life without human companionship can feel lonely and empty.
If you would like to gain a clearer understanding of what you truly need from your interpersonal relationships, help is available. Your psychologist can help you find the words to express these needs in a way that you are understood. You can learn interpersonal skills such as: communication skills, conflict resolution skills or assertiveness to help you deal with current relationships or develop and maintain new friendships.